The Journey of Reconnection

Why three stations on the journey of reconnection?

I confess, that one of the gifts life has given me is my "mania" to learn about it, to study it and to grow emotionally and intellectually to the fullest extent possible. The word mania I use is purposeful and of course just as all of our positive inclinations and talents are rooted in our shortcomings and traumas, this "mania" to grow is rooted in my need to develop the parts of me that were deprived of emotional nurturing and left immature. Now, as far as I can realize, I have healed enough of my wounds that this "mania" for learning, no longer has as its starting point and motivation pain, but delight and curiosity about the phenomenon of life. Consequently, I have struggled to come into contact with knowledge, through universities, schools, seminars, therapists, trainers, supervisors, teachers and to provide answers to key questions such as: "why does human do what he does?", "how can he be helped to heal his wounds and flourish?", "what is it that he can do differently to live happily?". My exposure to the complex phenomenon of the human psyche, from many levels, (psychology, cognitive analytic psychotherapy, body-centered gestalt psychotherapy, systemic psychotherapy, group psychotherapy, couples psychotherapy, coaching, neuro-linguistic programming, adult education, physical therapy, behaviorism, esotericism... ) has created and continues to create a chaos of information that I am constantly called upon to put in order and synthesize so that I am able to create a new therapy for each individual therapist. Part of this effort to synthesize all of these levels is the "Three Steps of Reconnection". Each word you will read below has many theories behind it, which have been espoused for some decades by spiritual giants, so that we have the opportunity today to reap the fruits of their own seeds. My role is to be able to create an easily digestible yet therapeutically effective synthesis of all these theories and research, and to be able to make a humble contribution in my field to the very demanding task of today's age, which is the management of ever-increasing information. These three steps are not linear, they constantly overlap, which makes the journey even more exciting in its complexity!

Why a trip?

I liken therapy and personal development in general to a journey, because I believe there are many similarities between them. In both cases, we start with a decision about the destination we wish to reach. Something is missing at the beginning and we have the expectation of meeting it on our journey. The healing journey is internal and lonely, nevertheless it has fellow travelers, whether we realize it or not. Traveling companions beyond the therapist and those being treated, in the case of group psychotherapy, are our friends, our companions, every person we "meet"... And while we are all fellow travelers on the great journey of life, sometimes we become fellow travelers on smaller journeys, with a beginning, middle and end. Some people will join us for short periods of our lives, until we take and give what we have and need, some will come like comets, and some will stay for a lifetime on the journey itself. This journey is not one, it is many (!) many cycles open in life and close for the next to open. On a neurobiological basis, every time the brain has created a new and powerful neural network and sheds the exclusive function of the old one, the human being feels deep sadness for this great change and feelings of uncertainty about the new possibilities opening up in front of him. It is until the new one is solidified, to feel safe and anchors are raised for the next voyage! This is why all three stations of the journey of reconnection, are repeated over and over again and work cumulatively to create a spiral helix of ascension. Finally, the journey of reconnection has no end, it is a journey of a lifetime. I believe that everything we do we do in order to get in touch with our forgotten parts and reconnect with them. Attention! Just so I’m not misunderstood, this journey is not the same for everyone, each person starts from their own starting point and we must show the utmost respect for that. I particularly admire those who have the courage to start from very low, where few can find hope and see light. It is remarkable to start at the foot of the mountain and reach the top...

Why a reconnection?

No human being ever begins the journey of life disconnected from his senses, from the deepest core of his being, from his desires. Who we are today may have something to do with what happened yesterday, what happened 10 years ago, what happened when we were embryos in our mother's womb, what happened before we were even born in previous generations, what happened millions of years before we were born into our species, nevertheless we all have a core piece of "pure self" inside of us. Reconnection is about this part of our authentic self and the goal of psychotherapy is to heal the psychological traumas that rob us of the experience of the "here and now", taking us on a journey to the traumatic "there and then", out of touch with our authentic desire. It is what Carl Rogers observed when he heard his healed report that they had lost themselves and that their need was to find themselves again. They may not have known what they had lost, but they felt in their hearts that they had lost something…

The first station: heal-recover (relationship with yourself)

At the first station the person comes into contact with his deepest existential fears. He struggles within himself to understand if it is his own fault or the fault of others and he does not know yet that it is nobody's fault ... slowly he gets in touch with his feelings and realizes what it is that hurts him and learns to say no. Whereas before someone would stab him with a knife and he would smile, now he feels the pain of the stab and when he gets close he protects himself. He touches his deepest wounds and realizes how his unconscious traumas affect his life in the present. Intense feelings of anxiety, fear, panic, deprive him of the joy of existence. He realizes that he is dependent. In essence, how he feels depends on how others feel about him and how his parents felt or feel. What the world says permeates him and regulates his emotions. In this first stage he recognizes his identity, which is directly related to the role given to him by his family. So, he answers from the deepest layers of his being, questions such as: "How do I relate to myself?" "How do I relate to others?" "Why do I have these people around me?" "Why am I in this profession?", "What are my talents, my positive callings and my abilities?" At this stage self-awareness is rapid and the pieces of the puzzle are coming together at a rapid pace. At this stage I find it necessary to get in touch with the unbearable pain that has been hidden from oneself for so many years, to express and make sense of it. Here the symptoms stop tormenting the person, the embodied pain has been expressed and released. To move to the next stage, it is important to begin to take responsibility for one's desires into one's own hands. At the first stage, I consider it essential to have a strong therapeutic relationship and to support psychotherapeutic techniques and methods that touch the deepest layers of our being. The processing of traumas is done at the pace of the therapist in the safe context of individual or group psychotherapy.

Δεύτερος σταθμός συνδέομαι-connect (σχέση με τους άλλους)

At the second station, he experiences his desire with more clarity, he feels emotion when he connects with people, because he has connected with his authentic self in an emotional, new way. He expresses his desires by speaking through his feelings, not just describing them. So, he can get care without feeling guilty. He can connect with people without terms of love and contracts of exchange. And little by little, he is filled with human support and care something he had never felt before! He experiences emotional independence from others and negotiates a normal, fruitful, and mature interdependence. This builds his mental resilience and creates a close support network around him. Being able to ask people without guilt and fear and being able to endure the frustration of rejection as an integral part of the human experience is the steppingstone, he will step on to move on to the next station. At the second station, the therapist in the context of individual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy and couple psychotherapy, consolidates the fruits of the first stage and begins to generalize satisfying relationships, which tend towards parity and outside the therapeutic context.

Third station triumph (relationship with the whole world!)

Here only those who have deeper motivation to know themselves continue, the symptoms no longer exist and are no longer a motivation for personal quest. At the third station, the person, completely trusts life and accepts its rhythms, its complexity, its simplicity, feels more secure than ever, even though he realizes that life is mostly unpredictable events. He stands courageously in the face of life's ultimate truths, such as death, and is ready to live because he knows what it is like to die... He has learned to say YES to life and its challenges. He negotiates within himself his political, religious, spiritual position and works out more abstract concepts such as love, solidarity, morality, freedom, God. He negotiates his relationship with the whole planet and nature, now with a pure motivation. He is ready to define his own vision for his life and to follow it with others, because an authentic vision, is always connected to other people. He knows his pure motivation, which comes from his deepest core, with his whole being, body and soul, and this awareness makes him effective. He knows what he wants and can fully experience both pain and pleasure! In the third stage, after all the inner work has been done with himself and then with others, human seeks tools to help him organize, to design his own personal vision from which he makes sense. He will find these tools in methodologies such as coaching, mentoring and in his training in various life skills. Examples are how to manage energy, time and information, to learn how to learn, how to create the habits and routines that will get him the results he needs, to learn how to create, set goals and provide value to the community and finally how to follow a healthy lifestyle, utilizing breathing, exercise, nutrition and sleep. And finally, how to be more mindful in his daily life (mindfulness) and enjoy it moment by moment!
Organized in these three stages, you will also find the articles on this page. I know that whether I meet you at some point or not, to some extent we will have traveled together ... I hope that my work through this website, will accompany you as a faithful travel companion, to find answers, motivation, outlets to whatever is troubling you, and that you will proceed by charting your own journey, seeing your destination more clearly! I believe that anyone who truly feels the desire to meet what he is, then sooner or later, although he may change many paths, books, teachers, therapists, pass many times through the three stations, at some point the unknown will be revealed to him, which has always been known to him...
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